


Silence

by Lilmizzhugable13



Category: The Hunger Games (Movies)
Genre: Angst, F/M, Nothing but angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-20
Updated: 2017-03-20
Packaged: 2018-10-08 10:04:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,208
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10384227
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lilmizzhugable13/pseuds/Lilmizzhugable13
Summary: Sometimes silence is the best and worst answer to any question a person may ask.





	

**Author's Note:**

> This is a little one-shot I did based on the scene in Mockingjay Part II where Katniss and Haymitch go back to District 12 after Katniss kills President Coin. I have no idea why but when they showed Haymitch and Katniss completely silent in the ride back, it stuck with me, so now I had to write it.

The train ride back to District 12 was silent.

Katniss stayed sitting in her usual chair she sat at whenever she was on this train. It wasn't her favorite (the seat was too soft and the backrest was too hard for her to be completely comfortable), but it became a habit for her to sit there. She gravitated toward the seat unconsciously now, and even though she could always just stand up and move to another chair, she didn't. Apparently, she was a bit of a masochist. She _loved_ putting herself through discomfort and pain.

Just like now, for example. She was going back to her home, or at least what was left of it. District 12 was completely destroyed when she last saw it, and now that she had the option to abandon a part of her that was dead, she opted to pour salt on her wounds and go back to her big and empty house alone. She could've asked to go anywhere else. Sure she wasn't in the best terms with the citizens of Panem, but she could've told Plutarch to send her anywhere else. Katniss was very convincing, after all, or so she'd been told. If she would've just been more forceful, then she wouldn't be like this.

Why was she going back? She had nothing left. Did she want to live in her house to have some sort of symbol of Prim? Did she want to be by herself? Was she just homesick? Was she going to wait for Peeta until he was ready to love her again? Did she even love him? Was she just stringing him along? Did she just hate herself?

Yes. Katniss decided she did absolutely hate herself. That was probably the only thing she was certain of. She hated herself, and she hated herself for it.

Although, as the dark landscape blurred past her, she discovered that hating herself wasn't as bad as she originally thought. She did do horrible things, after all. Her hands were practically drenched in blood with the deaths she caused both intentionally and unintentionally. Maybe she did deserve to hate herself. Maybe she was a horrible person. Maybe she just screwed everything up for everyone instead of helping. After all, it wasn't as if there was only one Alma Coin. There will be thousands, if not millions, of others who will want to abuse power. Did she really change anything? Was being out through all of this pain and torture worth anything?

Katniss sunk further into her chair and stared at the floor. She had never felt this empty, not even when her father died. At least when he died, she still had Prim and (to some extent) her mother. Now, she didn't have Prim, Gale, her mother, or Peeta.

Well, she had Haymitch. He was always on her side. He kept her alive through two games, through the aftermaths of the games, and through the war itself. However, if Katniss was being honest to herself, a small part in her mind hated him for it. He kept her alive, and by doing so, he put her through everything. He solidified her status as the Mockingjay, and if he would've just abandoned her in the beginning of the first game or kept his promise and took Peeta instead of her in the second game, then she wouldn't be sitting in this uncomfortable chair hating herself.

She was all alone, but then again, how was that any different than usual?

Haymitch stayed sitting in his usual chair he sat at whenever he was on this train, and in his opinion, he had been on this train far too many times. To him, being in this train for the first time was like being a cow in a truck waiting to be taken to the slaughter house. Seeing this train for the second time meant being able to live a life of luxury and peace, but then came all of the other Hunger Games, all of the other tributes he had to mentor and send to the slaughter house, and suddenly, the train became a symbol of death.

Haymitch didn't know what he was going to do after they arrived. His house at the Victor's Village was still there, but that was it. There was nothing left of District 12. It was only going to be him, Katniss, and a lot of emptiness.

He looked over at the Mockingjay and sighed. She wasn't Katniss anymore. She was just another tribute, another victor, another Capital mutt. That was all they were: failed mutations from the capital that escaped from its clutches.

Well then, he guessed that meant they were both Mockingjays. How ironic. And they weren't alone.

Peeta was literally a mutt who escaped. So was Johanna and, to some degree, Annie, but they'll survive. He heard Annie was pregnant, and Johanna was going to help her mother the baby so she wouldn't be alone. Peeta was still seeking psychiatric help, or at least Plutarch ordered him to before he returned back.

Haymitch clenched his fists. Peeta better come back. He didn't sacrifice everything he had left for Peeta to end up mentally insane and drag Katniss down with him.

He opened his hands when his mind brought up another familiar face. Effie.

Effie was someone he never figured out. She was someone who was devoted to the Capital and their way of life ever since he met her, but as soon as Katniss and Peeta came along, she ignored her own needs and did whatever she could to help them. She even sponsored them, although the transaction was something that occurred behind closed doors. She risked her life for them (Haymitch included), and stuck through with them until the end.

She was there at District 13 for Katniss instead of claiming sanctuary at the capital and taking the easy way out. She chose to be seen as a traitor for her tributes, something no other escort would do. She wasn't plastic or selfish; she was someone pure and brave, someone Haymitch never thought she'd be.

"Don't be a stranger, Effie," he had told her, but now as he thought back at the entirety of the games and the war, he had to take the statement back. Effie was a stranger to him, one that he would've liked to get to know better.

There was just something about her that intrigued him. Whether it was her puzzling identity or her ridiculous costumes, he didn't know, but all Haymitch knew was that their time together was too short. Maybe if this didn't happen, then maybe they wouldn't have to separate that this point of their relationship (whatever their relationship was), but was exactly was 'this'? The assassination of President Coin? The war? The Hunger Games? Panem? President Snow?

Haymitch really wanted a drink right now, but he didn't want to disturb the silence in this train. Instead, he preferred to wallow in his self-pity and grief, but then again, how was than any different than usual?

They were silent because sometimes, the questions they asked do not have an answer, and sometimes, the empty silence can be more deafening than any scream or cry will ever be.


End file.
